I Am, I Know

Life Is A War Of Head Vs. Heart

Life is a war of head vs. heart. It’s tiny little moments, like: watching the flickering lights of the city from a rooftop, while the soft breeze tangles your hair and kisses your cheek. Waking up early in the middle of winter to feel the chill cut through your coat as a chai latte runs down your throat. It’s that marone jumper you love, that still smells like him.

Life is messy. It’s making mistakes, like: one too many wines that numb your lips but not your tongue. Feeding feelings with memories, instead of drowning them in tears. Driving too fast. It’s being afraid of nothing, except saying exactly how you feel, because then it’ll be real.

Life is glorious. It’s sublime moments, like: watching a radiant sunset, and feeling its glow warm your cheekbones. Goosebumps tingling across your body, as he runs his hand up your thigh. Midnight conversations with people that matter. It’s that spark, that begins when you lock eyes and ends with your souls dancing together.

Life is magic.

If you listen, it will tell you.

If you look, you will find it.

If you do, you will become.

I Know

33 Things I Know, Now That I’m 33

1. There’s only one person responsible for your life – you.

2. It takes guts to be kind.

3. You can’t be distracted by comparison if you’re captivated by purpose.

4. A sunrise doesn’t define its glow by how it set the night before; you shouldn’t define yourself by yesterday either.

5. Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter.

6. Whatever you focus on grows.

7. Where and how you choose to spend your time is telling – you will always make time for the things you value.

8. The best thing about the worst time of your life is that you get to see the true colours of everyone.

9. Not everyone is gold; some are simply gold-plated.

10. You gotta be a little savage.

11. Hostility towards unfamiliarity is true ignorance.

12. You aren’t owed shit; act accordingly.

13. Grief is the price of love – and it’s worth it.

14. Things may not always go to plan, and that might be the very best outcome.

15. Never judge someone by the opinion of others.

16. Nothing great can be achieved with selfish people.

17. Time heals nothing. It just replaces – or dims – memories.

18. Don’t harden up when someone mistreats you – being bitter is a waste of time, and a true disservice to yourself.

19. Feelings aren’t final – they’re fluid.

20. You leave pieces of yourself in everyone you’ve ever loved. That’s quite a responsibility.

21. You may not be able to control your situation, but you can always control your attitude towards it.

22. Collect moments, not things.

23. Never allow waiting to become a habit.

24. Don’t change parts of who you are, or what you do, or how you do it, to please someone else. Unless your aim is to be miserably unsatisfied.

25. When you stop caring about what other people think of you, you’ll find true freedom.

26. Where possible, skip the small talk. Everyone is deep, most are just afraid to dive.

27. The ‘little things’ are never really that little – they’re often the most important.

28. If you can only let go of three things, make them these: grudges, the past, and poisonous people.

29. You will never be able to escape your own heart – so listen to it.

30. Stress literally achieves nothing. Action fixes everything.

31. Worrying literally achieves nothing. Action fixes everything.

32. Pursue a life of meaning, and the happiness will come.

33. When in doubt, be extra.

I Am

i used to write poetry…


i used to write poetry
like i knew what i was doing
i never did
i still don’t

i’ve worn lost like a badge of honour
like a wayward explorer
i just don’t want to be found

i have stood
and listened
to the telling
at the yelling
and then i’ve silently sat
thinking ‘well, what about that?’

i have realised there’s lost
and then there’s lost
and they are not the same
one is a bit romantic
the other not so much

and maybe i’ve made excuses
even though i always say
‘never make excuses’
i think everyone does

people say
‘i wouldn’t do anything differently’
i used to say
‘i wouldn’t change a thing’
i absolutely would
do every thing differently
i absolutely would
change some things

i don’t have regrets
not because
i don’t have them
because i choose not to think about them

when you can’t change what’s been
what’s the point of thinking about

i have found two places
where my mind can wander
doing the dishes
standing under running water

i think time is irreplaceable
and there is none to waste
every now
and again
i zone out
doing the dishes
standing under running water
and i know
that is one of the most precious ways
to savour it

i live
and will die
by two words
back yourself

i will whisper
back yourself
every time
all the time

I Am

I Used To Blog

I used to blog.


Before it became all cool and du jour.

I blogged, a few years back, when it was still a fairly new territory – when bloggers weren’t celebrities and no one knew just how far and wide this amazing online world could go.

I loved it. I loved the community that it created. The positivity it spread. The happiness it filled me with.

I’m forever grateful for my early blogging days; for the opportunities they provided me with and the growth they ensured.

But then I stopped blogging.

Because I just didn’t feel it anymore. Because I grew out of it. Because life lead me elsewhere. Because it seemed everyone had a story about how blogging had led them to some sort of success, and I don’t like sharing the same stories as others.

Because people got competitive. And negative. And I hate that.

I stopped because, wherever I looked, it seemed anyone and everyone was a blogger. Anyone and everyone was a writer, almost by default, simply because they had a blog. And I don’t think they are the same thing.

I blog, because I write. I don’t write to blog.

I am a writer. For me, blogging is the default. I stopped blogging because I began to resent being called a blogger. I wrote before I blogged, for years and years, and I wrote after I blogged. I never did it to be cool. Or to launch a career.

I did it because I love to write. And I’m good at it.

I resented being called a blogger because I seriously loathed being put into group that started to increasingly include sixteen year old emos that couldn’t spell, middle aged perverts and people seeking fame. Because, as with everything in life, when something is new and unknown and you’re doing it – you’re ahead of the pack. You’ve got vision. But when everyone is doing it, it’s old. It’s regular. It’s beyond passé.

And I don’t do regular.

But I always do what I love. And, as I’ve recently discovered, blogging is something I love.

I’ve missed it. And the community it creates. And the positivity it spreads. And the happiness it fills me with.

I’m now prepared, more assured of myself than ever, to be placed into a category that includes sixteen year old emos that can’t spell, middle aged perverts and people seeking fame because I know, and I’m not afraid to say, that I am not any of them. I’m not afraid to be a blogger.

Bad grammar, spelling, perverts and fame seekers aside – we’re a good bunch of people. Dedicated, inspired and utterly talented. And that’s a collective I’m more than willing to associate myself with.

So, here I am, a little older, a lot wiser and still full of words. I feel a strange nostalgia lining the blank page of a WordPress portal, but I also feel a slight tingling coming out of my fingertips as I hit the keys of my laptop, an occasional kick from a stray butterfly in my stomach – I’m excited, about new opportunities and new growth.

I’m excited to share it all with you.

I hope you’ll join me as I journey through life, right in the thick of it.