Category: I KNOW.

•  Never let fear hold you back from participating in life.

• Some people wonder where strength comes from. Strength comes from within; where you don’t even really know how much of it you have until it’s time to use it.

• Patience really is a virtue.

• You don’t need to ‘find’ yourself. No matter what the books or experts or gurus say. Lose yourself. Often.

• It’s always better to be too much than not enough.

• Anger can be constructive. Used wisely, it can spur you on to do better, and be better. The world has allowed terrible situations to develop because it has not been angry enough. Anger can also be incredibly destructive. Hold on to anger for too long, and you’ll soon develop a chunk, not a chip, on your shoulder.

• You always have enough time, when something is worthy of it.

• The world owes you nothing. Not one single thing. Don’t act like it does.

• You always have enough love, when someone is worthy of it.

• You can’t control everything.

• There is good in the world – real, honest, lovely good.

• You don’t have to chase everything in life. Some things will come to you. Let them.

• Un-waivering self-belief will get you through anything. Never stop believing in yourself. Never.

Today, over lunch, someone said to me, “You know, you’re very lucky to do a job that you love so much.”

“I suppose I am,” I replied.

I love what I do, but on reflecting, I’m not sure luck has anything to do with it.

Luck doesn’t get you out of bed at 5am. Luck doesn’t help you meet your deadline. Luck doesn’t plan and organise. Luck doesn’t get you in your car, to meetings, to coffee dates and out of your comfort zone.

I’m not sure that anything I’ve ever done has come down to luck. I am sure, however, that it has come down to hard work. Doing, not dreaming. Being proactive, not reactive.

And I’m pretty sure a lot of it has come down to love.

I don’t get the Sunday night dreads. I don’t roll over in the morning and snooze the alarm. I don’t dream and pine for the weekend. I don’t bitch and moan my way through the working week.

I genuinely love what I do.

I can’t think of an aspect of my job that irritates me.

I wish there were 48 hours in a day.

Work, to me, so often doesn’t feel like work. Even though I do feel challenged, and pressed for time, and occasionally overwhelmed, it’s not boring, or draining, or annoying.

I cannot imagine working so passionately, or happily, in a job I didn’t love so much. I can’t imagine doing anything else as a job.

Doing what you love has very little to do with luck; it involves a stack of self-belief. You can do anything in life, but not without spades of self-belief. I believe it’s belief itself that’s the biggest hurdle – if you believe in yourself, and what you do, then you can’t go wrong.

I know of some very brave people that have left day jobs in search of their dream career. They’ve taken salary cuts, moved homes, cities, countries and have adopted new lifestyles in the pursuit of happiness.

My parents always told me that it doesn’t matter what you do for a job in life – all that matters is that you love what you do.

And as long as I do what I love in life, I’ll be happy.

The thing I’ve realised is you make your own happy in life. You make your own luck. Fluke and chance and fortune are for fools. If you want something, go get it. If you love something, do it. All you need is to believe it.

Stop living in the past.

Looking back.

Stop searching for something.

Anything.

They’re all excuses.

Distractions.

You can be anything you want to be.

You can do anything you want to do.

Do what you love.

Whenever you can.

Love what you do.

Even when you don’t.

Live.

Read.

See.

Learn.

Make mistakes.

Fall over.

Get back up.

Just don’t look back.

Never look down.

On anything.

Or anyone.

Stop trying to uncover – discover – who you are.

Start becoming the person you want to be.

Yesterday, my friend Sarah Kempson wrote about online bullying, following her experience as the winner of the Westfield Blogger Competition.

Not only did Sarah hit the proverbial nail on the head, she also did something I strongly admire; she spoke out.

Speaking out – about anything – is never easy. Speaking out when you know there’s an audience just waiting to pounce on you is even harder. But it’s important to do so.

I really dislike bullying, of any kind, but it’s the faceless kind that bothers me the most. It’s one thing to be delivered an insult from someone face to face, or over the phone, when you know exactly who your ‘enemy’ is, but such behaviour online is not only cowardly, but simply far too easy to engage in.

Sarah mentioned in her blog post that she was taught the age-old mantra, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.” A view my mother instilled in me as well. But do you know what my mother also instilled in me? A strong sense of self and a generous dose of self-respect. Something I’m glad Sarah also seems to have inherited.

Growing up, my parents taught me to be polite and nice to everyone. They also taught me to never, ever start a fight, but to sure as hell be prepared to finish one. Something that I do each and every time one is presented my way.

I do not delight in arguing. I am not a trouble maker. And I always aim to spread positivity, rather than negativity. But when picked on, I fight back. When argued against, I argue back. I’m not afraid of standing up for myself. Or those that I love.

So, when reading of Sarah’s experience, my first message to her was that I was quite prepared to hunt down the faceless weaklings that had hurt her and greet them with a baseball bat. After re-assessing, I decided that was a pretty unlikely scenario (not because I’d be unprepared to do so, but just because I’ve no way of tracking down the gutless commentators). What I could use, though, was my words. And maybe, hopefully, spread some sort of message.

Like; it’s not okay to write rubbish online – because there’s no apparent form of consequence. Like; if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t write something down about them, and not even be honest enough to put your name to it. Like; grow a brain, and get a life, and focus on improving yourself rather than attempting to bring others down.

I often get told that I’m ‘ballsy’. That I’m ‘strong’. That I’m not afraid of staring someone in the face and letting them know exactly what I think. All of those things are true. The other truth, however, is that just because that is so, does not mean it is easy to do so.

I was rarely picked on at school. On the isolated occasions that I was, always from older kids, like the Grade 6 boys, I had a stock standard response; “I’ll get my older brother to come and bash you up.” In this politically correct, namby pamby era, that might not sound ‘nice’, but it sure was effective.

I grew up always knowing that someone had my back. And there’s nothing more potent to building self-confidence and self-belief than knowing someone, or more than one person, will stand up for you, no matter what.

Everything that people call me is true; ballsy, strong, capable, confident. But all that has far less to do with me and far more to do with my family. If I didn’t grow up thinking I could have and be anything in the world, I wouldn’t have and be what I am. If I grew up thinking it was okay to be pushed around, then I probably would have been.

Bullies need to be put in their place. It’s obvious to me that all the efforts and guidelines from Government, Education Departments and schools are put in place with good intentions, but, years later, are still doing very little to get to the core of the issue. The problem with bullying is that bullies get away with being one. I say, fight fire with fire. A tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. Someone pushes you? Push them back. Harder. Metaphorically and physically. Whenever you cop anything unjust from anyone in life, give it back to them. With twice as much oomph. If we never stand up to bullies, they will never stop.

It’s not easy standing up or speaking up. There’s nothing harder than putting your opinion out there. But doing so does make you stronger.

If we all spoke up a little more, the voices of nastiness and negativity would be slightly harder to hear. And the more we can beat them down, the better off everyone will be. Bullies aren’t renowned for their tenacity, or their intelligence. Chances are, you’ll outsmart them pretty quickly.

It’s not your job to fight someone else’s battle. But you can be the someone who’s got someone else’s back. Irrespective of how old I get, I know I can always tell someone that my brother will come and bash them up. I may not be the little girl in Grade 4 anymore, but I am the same person, and while I haven’t actually said my stock standard line to anyone in a number of years, knowing that I can makes me feel fearless.

If we all went by the mantra to never, ever start a fight, but always finish one, then pretty soon, there’d be no fights left. I realise that’s an idealist sentiment, so I’ll leave you with something a little more real; forget the politically correct bullshit and show people your teeth. Stand up for yourself. No matter how hard it is to do.