I’m trying to be less judgemental.
I don’t think I’m an inherently judgemental person, but I do make judgements. And it’s only after sitting back and consciously not judging, that I registered how much time I have spent doing so.
It’s wasted time. It’s negative time. And I’ve realised what’s far more useful and far more positive is spending time on and for yourself.
I’d rather have a bath than go out to dinner and listen to someone hypothesise about their neighbour’s lifestyle or their friend’s situation; there’s no good that comes from that, no use or benefit, and certainly no improvement. And there’s no fun in it.
Judgement is draining. It saps the energy out of you and only perpetuates the cycle of negativity and speculation that it thrives upon.
I don’t quite get it when people say it’s natural to judge. At what point did assuming the circumstances of someone’s life or situation become the natural thing to do? Become a perfectly accepted thing to do?
I’ve judged people on their ability. On their clothing. On their family situation. On their house. On their job. On their car. On where they eat. On who they spend time with. On their book collection. On their attitude. And what has that done for me?
Blatantly declaring that someone is an awful writer doesn’t make me a better one. Thinking that someone’s clothes are hideous doesn’t make mine look any nicer.
We judge because we want to feel better about ourselves. Because we want to distinguish our situation from another. Separate any similarities and then tear the rest to shreds.
I’ve discovered that if you spend the time once exhausted on judgement – the thinking it, the gossiping it – and turn it towards yourself, you will not only grow, but soar.
Working towards being a better person is more valuable than chatting about people you work with.
My grandmother used to say, and this is a literal Italian translation so some of its beauty is lost in translation, that if you kick every stone on the street you’ll need a brand new pair of shoes every week.
I’ve realised that nothing is more accurate. Kicking stones, making judgements, spreading negativity – all it leaves you with is fatigue and vexation. And holes in your shoes.