Everything’s F**ked. Here’s Some Reasons Why.

First published in Onya Magazine on March 3rd, 2011.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the world is, in no uncertain terms, screwed. I cannot remember the last time I received a bill, ordered a meal or bought something from a shop that did not require a return trip to address some issue, a phone call to clarify something or a painful exchange with someone.

And it appears I am not alone. Apparently we’ve all argued with a telecommunications company, or bought an electrical item to find it kaput when we arrived home, or simply tried to order a meal without a food substance that’s going to send us into allergic rapture…to no avail.

But we can’t all be wrong.

I’m not sure of the current unemployment rate, but I know that the incompetency rate is at an all time high. Complete and utter incompetence is washing over our great nation – and half the time it is washing over us from an offshore call centre.

I’m not sure about you, but I’m tired of spending 10 minutes spelling my name in Alpha Bravo Charlie every time I need to make an enquiry about an account – to someone listening to me on delay.

I’m sick of all the fees and taxes associated with everything to do with our lifestyle. I have a landline. I have to pay rental on my handset. Despite the fact that I purchased the handset myself. I don’t rent it. But I get charged for it. Make sense to you?

If you were to subtract the fees and charges from your monthly bills, chances are you’d be able to buy a small island in the French Riviera.

We are governed by morons, over-governed in fact, by morons that penalise the good, the honest and the hard working at every turn and allow organisations, companies and businesses to deliver inadequate goods and services.

The system, that fateful word that’s thrown around every time something crashes, is lost, or someone operating it is just too cretinous to use, is the bane of our modern existence. And it’s the same system that does not protect the innocent and most certainly does not reward those who do the right thing.

Nothing is easy anymore. Nothing is seamless. Nothing just works.

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